Cake of Fail

First, it was to be a red velvet cake, but I didn't want to use craploads of dye. So then it was white, but lacked flavor and richness. Then it was supposed to be a layer cake but one layer fell apart so I carved it into a smaller circle. Then I made chocolate cream cheese icing and it was bad. So I shredded chocolate to make it pretty, but it still looks like a stupid hat with bird poop on it. It tasted about the same.